Abba, Father, I come to you. I kneel down and beg you for your help and guidance. I am crying out to you from the pit of darkness. I need your light, I need to see your face. Jehovah-Shamma, please be present with me. Jehovah-Shalom, please give me peace. I miss my family. I know you have your reasons for everything, but I am lost. I am so very grateful for the time I had with both my husband, and my daughter. Please help me to keep this depression, and darkness at bay. I love you my Father, my Jesus, MY Savior. My faith will not fail me. I know you are there. In Jesus Name.
“In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;” 1 Peter 1 NASB
That has been a very hard phrase for me. I do believe that God has a big plan for my son and I. I trust Him. But, at the same time, it is so hard to let go. Each new day that goes by is another day without my husband and daughter. I miss them both so very much.
I have big plans, though, for this new year. Despite my tremendous losses, I have gained so very much. I feel my relationship with the Lord has become so very close. That is the only thing that keeps me sane. That, and lots and lots of humor from my sweet son. I want to use my gifts to help others. I want to be a better mom for my son, a better daughter to my dad, a better sister, and a better friend.
My New Years resolutions have nothing to do with wealth, weight loss, or anything else that is on the typical resolution list. My one resolution is to make sure all of my loved ones, family and friends, will always know how much I love and appreciate them. I am so blessed with an awesome family, and fantastic friends.
I will continue to daily pray for our Law Enforcement Officers, and all other first responders. Pray for our country and our world. Jesus is coming soon. Make sure you are ready.